All Wounds
by lockurhart
Summary: "They say "time heals all wounds". I think we are the perfect example that that is not exactly true. We are fine, yes. We are happy. But, we are never quite okay." Takes places after City of Lost Souls - Will contain spoilers for those who haven't read. Appearances/Main roles by all major characters.
1. Seeing

**Hey, everyone! Had a dream the other night and started writing off of the idea. There may be some spoilers in here for those of you who haven't read the books or still have some left to read, so be aware of that. Also, I tweaked some of the conflict we were left with at the end of City of Lost Souls, which you will read about almost immediately. Sorry if you're disappointed, but I had something else in mind :) Anyway - I'm not sure how long this will end up being, I'm just going to wing it.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Mortal Instruments. You can thank Cassandra Clare for that.**

* * *

They say "time heals all wounds". I think we are the perfect example that that is not exactly true. We are fine, yes. We are happy. But, we are never quite okay.

Its been two years since the battle that severed Jace's tie to my brother. Things have mostly gone back to normal — as normal as they can be when you're a shadowhunter. Just as the Silent Brothers predicted, Jace's "chance to shine" (as we now refer to it) faded after a while. The Clave continued in its search for Sebastien, but found no trace of him. We have our suspicions as a group, though there has been no activity to support them. The Clave remains alert, but are convinced that Glorius had a more significant effect on my brother than we had originally anticipated. If you ask me, two whole years of nothing and no one threatening to end the world as we know it is reason enough to be suspicious.

"Are you ready, then?" calls my mom from the other room. I hadn't realized I was staring at the wall. I do that a lot lately - drift off in thought.

"Coming!"

Tonight we are going to dinner with Luke and the pack. It's Maia's birthday. We are not close, Maia and I. We speak only when I visit other people - Luke at the station or Simon, at his and Jordan's apartment. Even so, I agree to attend tonight's dinner mostly because I am basically the alphas daughter, and mom says it would be expected of me to show up. Making an appearance would be much more bearable had Simon agreed to attend, but he decided instead to spend the night with Isabelle.

I throw my bag over my shoulder and meet my mom at the front door. She smiles at me, her eyes lingering for a moment.

"What is it?" I ask her.

"You look so grown up, is all."

I laugh a little at this as she opens the door. "Growing up will do that to you."

We meet Luke at the station, where the pack has set up a long table in a back room. A separate table against the far wall holds plates upon plates of food. Apart from a few bags of chips and what looks like a large container if potato salad, everything is meat. Typical.

"This is perfect, actually" my mom says to Luke as he places decorative center pieces on the table.

He smiles at her, "I think she'll enjoy it."

I scan over the table of food. A few rotisserie chickens, chicken wings, chicken tenders. I wonder if they like chicken. My dry mouth also leads me to the observation that there are no refreshments set out. I see it as my chance, "So where are the bowls, then?"

Luke gives me a confused look. "They're right in front of you, Clary..."

"No, I mean the water bowls. Someone is bound to get thirsty tonight." I say it casually, as though I'm completely serious, even though I'm biting back my grin.

It takes Luke a few seconds before he gives me a playful shove. "Who invited you, anyway, Shadowhunter?"

The pack eventually files into the back room, taking seats at the table. There are close to 20 of them, and they easily fill the room. My mom and I sit at the far end, opposite Luke. Everyone is talking, laughing, and I suddenly feel very small. All at once there are cheers and cat calls. I turn to see Maia walking in, Jordan at her side. Her cheeks flush from the attention.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't stop what you were doing on my account" she calls out.

"Does this mean we can eat now?" someone calls out. The question is directed at Luke. He nods in approval and they are all up and shuffling towards the food table. They let Maia serve herself first before they all dig in. By the time I get to serve myself, there isn't much left. I find that I'm not all that disappointed, as my stomach is just not agreeing with me at the moment. I snag a chicken tender and a handful of chips before heading back to my seat. Luke and my mom are conversing with Justin, Luke's second in command. My eyes move down the table and meet Maia's. She smiles at me, and I back at her, before someone throws a piece of what must be chicken at her head and her attention is elsewhere. She looks genuinely happy.

I take a bite of my chicken and immediately lose my appetite. Something just doesn't feel right, though I can't put my finger on it.

"Clary?"

I jump at the sound of my mothers voice. She sets her hand on top of mine. "Are you alright?"

"Fine. Just not very hungry" I lie.

I feel a cold rush over me as Luke stands up in his seat. The room goes quiet.

"We are all here tonight to celebrate a very special member of this pack. Maia -"

There are whistles, and applause.

"Maia, you are brave, loyal and warmhearted. As an added bonus, you also happen to be the cleanest-"

Laughter.

"- the least reckless,"

More laughter.

" and the least embarrassing."

Booing.

Luke continues, "Thank you for being such a great asset to this pack." The table erupts in applause as someone brings out a big cake.

A shadow in the corner catches my eye. I turn to look and the smile on my face immediately fades. There in the corner I see Sebastian. He begins to smile at me, and as the corners of his mouth turn up the room seems to darken.

I have not felt this level of terror in two years. Visions of my brother have not haunted my sleep in over a year. There has been no sign, not even a whisper of him in so long. And yet here he is - appearing before me. For a moment I wonder if I'm asleep. Is this just a nightmare?

But then I feel my mothers touch on my arm as I stumble back, hear her speak my name.

"Clarissa."

I hear my name a second time, but that is not my mother. I watch in horror as Sebastien takes a step towards me. I feel my legs start to give out. He takes another step.

"Clarissa, I'm not gone."

Tears fill my eyes and I collapse to the floor with a scream. The last thing I see before I pass out are green eyes.

* * *

I wake up with tears still staining my eyes. My head hurts, like I hit it, and there's a lingering pain in my side. Someone is holding my hand. I would know the feeling of this hand anywhere - fit together perfectly with mine. Jace sits in a chair beside my bed, asleep. I move to sit up - I need him to hold me right now. His eyes shoot open at my movement. I grab for him, tears spilling from my eyes now, and he pulls me towards him.

He runs his hand over my hair and rubs circles into my back with the other. "It's okay, Clary."

I respond only with a sob into his shoulder.

"Clary, calm down." I cannot control my breathing now, I am crying so much. All I can do is pull him closer. Jace pulls away just enough so that he can look me in the eyes.

"You're shaking. You need to calm down, Clary."

Detaching my hand from him, I take it and wipe my face. He kisses my cheek a few times.

I look up at him and answer the question I know he's wanting to ask.

"I saw him, Jace. He was there last night - at the station."

"Jonathan" he breathes. I nod.

"Clary, he wasn't really there. You were just seeing things."

I know it's true. He couldn't have actually been there, in the flesh.

"But I did see him!" I say.

"I believe you." He kisses the top of the hand he's holding.

There is a knock at the door.

"Come in" I choke.

"Clary!" My mom and Luke rush into my room. Jace releases me, turning me over to my parents.

My mom runs her hands over my face as if she's checking for wounds. "You scared me! What happened, honey?!"

I hesitate. If I tell her the truth, I'll never hear the end of it. It will worry her more than anything. Do I really want her to know I'm now seeing projections of my evil brother?

"I thought I saw a demon. I wasn't feeling well last night - I must have just been seeing things."

I see the look in Luke's eyes and I know he knows I'm lieing.

"I thought as much. You were terrified, Clary!"

I nod, "I know."

Luke speaks now, rubbing my shoulder, "Are you feeling better now?"

"I feel like I got hit by a bus, but yes, I feel better."

"You hit your head when you passed out. Some ice would help."

"Maybe a warm bath, too" says my mother.

I nod and my mom gives me another hug. "I'll make some breakfast. Jace, if you're hungry you're welcome to stay."

I don't think my Mom has grown used to Jace and I together, but she seems to have grown used to him being around. Sometimes I can't stand it, being around the two of them at the same time, because of the tension.

"That would be lovely, thanks."

I take a hot bath while Jace waits for me in my room. My brothers words linger in the back of my mind.

_I'm not gone._

Jace is on my bed when I return to my bedroom.

"Took you long enough."

I roll my eyes, "You didn't have to wait in here."

He points towards the door "Your mother is out there."

"Jace, she doesn't bite."

"That woman hates me, and you know it."

"You'll win her over eventually."

He gets off the bed and walks towards me, "Unfortunately I think she is the only female that is not effected by my striking good looks and charm."

"Maybe you just aren't that charming" I grin.

"I won over the Seelie Queen. I am much more than _that_ charming."

"Please. The Seelie Queen likes anything pretty. That doesn't mean you're charming."

He smiles and wraps his arms around my waist.

"I _am_ quite pretty."

* * *

**Well, hope you like where this is going so far! Please leave a review if you have the time - I would love to know what everyone thinks! Good or bad :) I'll update just as soon as I finish each chapter.**

**Toodles xx**


	2. Believing

I spend the rest of the day recuperating. Jace stays until he's sure I'll be fine before he heads back to the institute. I'm sure he just wants to escape my mothers presence after a very awkward breakfast.

I get a call from Simon that evening,

"Maia said you fainted?"

"Great, I'm sure the whole pack thinks I'm completely insane now."

"You mean if they didn't already think that before?"

I wish I could kick him through the phone.

"So what did you end up doing last night anyway, while my mental state slowly deteriorated?"

He hesitates before answering, "Well, not what, but _who_."

"Simon!" I laugh.

"You asked."

"And now I wish I hadn't."

"Are you going to tell me what happened?"

My smile disappears. Talking about it even frightens me a little, and I'm worried I'll be seeing it in my sleep.

I play with the end of my blanket, "I saw someone."

"Is that why you're holed up in your room now? You going to pass out every time you see someone?"

"It was Seb- it was Jonathan."

I am used to him being Sebastian, and I often forget that that isn't his real name. For me, calling him Sebastian makes me forget somehow that he's my brother. Referring to him by his real name though, that never fails to send a chill through my body.

"I don't understand. What do you think it means?"

I lean back into my pillow. This is what I love about Simon - he doesn't just dismiss my problems and try to make me feel better. He makes an attempt at solving them, too.

"I don't know. I want to believe that I was just seeing things. But it can't be that simple, right?"

He sighs, "Nothing ever is, Clary."

* * *

I wake the next morning after a somewhat successful night of sleep. For one, I didn't have any nightmares as I had expected. But, I was up most of the night thinking about my conversation with Simon. He was right, after all. Nothing is ever that simple.

I get myself dressed for training. Jace is not allowed to train me anymore. Instead I have a Clave appointed instructor. He is not my favorite person, and he likes to work me until I'm on the brink of death. But Jace and Alec seem to agree that he is good, so I suck it up.

I don't bother with a cab or the subway, not when I can just portal there. I grab my stele from my pack and draw one out on the wall. Mom and Luke will know where I've gone, so when it's finished I step through without another thought.

I find myself in the yard surrounding the Institute. I linger for a moment when I realize this is where Magnus portaled everyone to Idris, where we all first met Sebastian. It seems like so long ago.

It's quiet when I exit the elevator. I would expect everyone to already be up by this time. They are all early risers. I pass through a sitting room on my way to the living quarters. I jump at the sound of Isabelle's voice when I do not see her sitting on a couch near the window.

"Clary!" She runs to me - she looks concerned.

"Jace told me what happened. How are you holding up?"

I manage a smile, "I'm okay. Still a little shaken."

She gives my arm a squeeze - her way of trying to comfort me. Isabelle is one of the least physical people I know, beating only her brother. I have only ever seen her hug Alec and Jace, and though she and Simon are pretty serious now, it's rare to catch her holding his hand.

"Where is everyone?" I ask her as she starts to leave the room.

"Oh, Alec is off at Magnus's, and Jace was in the library last time I saw him."

I start heading to the library before I go to the training room, but reconsider. Being even a moment late for training is unacceptable nowadays. Jace can wait until my break.

Miles, my instructor, leans against a pillar in the training room. His arms are folded over his chest and he glares at me as I push through the doors.

"You're late" he spits.

I glance at the clock behind him.

_7:31_

"By a minute. Barely."

He lets out a frustrated sigh and starts towards me, his eyes still burning into my skin.

"You know, I would expect that by now you would arrive on time, if not early."

I set my pack down on a table, "Early to see _you_? Maybe you should learn to expect less."

"I grow tired of your attitude, Fray", he groans as he pulls on a black fighting vest. I take this to mean we're starting off with combat training.

Part of me is grateful that Miles took over training. Jace is quick and his training me helped with my footwork and reactions. But Miles is big - heavily built, tall and broad shouldered - which makes me better at controlling a larger, stronger opponent. I can throw a devastating punch and am perfecting my kicks, but I still tend to be awkward when it comes to using weapons.

Today Miles holds nothing back. Maybe I should learn to keep my mouth shut. He uses his training baton to slip my own out of my hand, distracting me while he pushes his foot so hard into my abdomen I go flying back.

"You still fight like a child. Have you learned nothing?!" he teases, offering me a hand up.

I push his hand away and lift myself up off of the floor.

"I do _not_ fight like a child. I can handle myself just fine!"

"Really?" I see him grab for me as I turn and am quick to reach him first. I block his blows and use all my strength to elbow him in the ribs. He clutches at his side when I twist my body so that I am next to him, then kick his feet out from beneath him. Miles lands on his back, gritting his teeth.

I wipe the sweat from my forehead with the back of my hand, grinning. Miles does not look amused.

He lifts himself up, removing his vest "Don't let that go to your head. You spent an entire morning in combat and only managed to get me down once. That's nothing to be proud of."

I roll my eyes and remove my vest, placing it back on the equipment rack.

He waves me off, "Go study something."

"With pleasure" I reply, almost childishly.

As I leave the training room I hear him shout something at me.

"And don't come back here if you plan on wasting more of my time!"

* * *

I march down the long hallway leading to Jace's bedroom. Through the windows I can see the clouds growing dark outside. It is mid October, and we are expecting snow in the city, not rain.

"_Strange_" I think to myself.

Just as I reach Jace's door, my hand on the knob, I hear my name. I can feel the goosebumps on my arms.

_"Clary."_

I turn towards the other end of the hallway, and swear I see someone turn the corner. Someone with blond hair.

"Jace?" I call out. There is no reply.

_Jonathan_

I reach for the stele in my pack. I

haven't carried a weapon with me in almost two years, unless we are out on a hunt. I approach the end of the hallway when I hear the same voice.

_"Clary.."_

"Clary?"

My heart practically falls out my butt and I hit the wall with a thud. I turn to find Jace next to me, looking at me like I'm crazy.

"What the hell?!" I yell, smacking his arm.

"What?"

I shove past him, making for his bedroom.

"You don't just sneak up on people like that!"

His footsteps fall in line with mine, "Sneak up - you're the one who called me! I'm sorry that I was under the impression you knew I was coming!"

I stop in front of his room.

"I didn't call - oh. Well - never mind."

Jace brushes a strand of hair behind my ear, "Are you alright, Clary?"

I have to stand on my toes to kiss him.

"Fine. Just a little distracted."

I walk into his room, stopping just before the bed. I feel his arms come from behind.

"Do you want me to distract you from your distractions?" he whispers, kissing my neck.

I hate that he has this power over me.

I object, but don't let him stop, "I'm supposed to be studying."

"We can study anatomy." I feel him from against my shoulder.

I turn in his arms so that I am facing him.

"What would you say if I told you that I think there's a reason I'm seeing Sebastian?"

"Do you?" he asks. I can see the concern in his eyes.

I bite my lip, "I don't know. I feel like there must be."

"We've agreed before that we don't think he's just disappeared for good, and I still don't believe it. I never have. Not for a second."

"So why haven't we done anything about it? I mean nothing has stopped us from taking things into our own hands before?" I sit down one the bed and he joins me.

"There was a time when I was considering it. After everything he put us through, I didn't want to rest until he was dead. But then everything just - stopped. It was good."

He takes my hand and I rest my head on his shoulder. I know exactly what he's going to say.

"We've been through a lot, Clary. All of us. I guess I just wanted to believe that things could go back to normal for us."

"And you were scared if you questioned it..."

He finishes for me, "Everything would go to hell again."

* * *

Jace and I end up going to lunch with Isabelle and Simon. Takis is always our go-to since Simon can't order anything if we go anywhere else. We sit in a booth in the far corner.

"Daniel Day Lewis" says Simon, obviously proud of his answer. Sometime during our meal he got us started on which mundane celebrities were most likely secretly Shadowhunters.

"Oohhh. That's a good one" I answer.

He high fives me, "Right? I mean he totally seems like the kind of guy that doesn't just go home at the end of the day - like he has some hidden agenda or something."

Jace hits the table as though he's suddenly had a brilliant idea.

"Rosie O'Donnell."

We all laugh.

"Justin Bieber" I add.

"They would make a wonderful team."

I glance at my phone and realize it's after two o'clock.

Jace notices, "I was going to ask you when you should be getting back."

"I'm not going back today."

"And why not?" asks Isabelle from across the table.

"I was told not to come back if I was planning on wasting more of his time. If I go back now, I can't make any promises."

Next to me, Jace laughs and finishes off his drink. "So what do we do now, then?"

Isabelle twirls a piece of her long black hair around her finger, "I've heard nothing from the Institute, so unless we want to go wandering into the shadows I guess hunting is off the list."

I see Simon yawning beside her. "Simon, have you slept?"

He blinks at me, "Not today, no. I was considering going back home..."

"And leave me with _them_?!" Isabelle objects.

"Why don't you just go with him, then?" says Jace. He puts his arm around my shoulders, "Clary and I have something to do anyway."

I turn and look at him, confused. "We do?"

He smiles confidently at me, "Yes. We do."

* * *

After a long walk, two subway changes and a phone call, we end up somewhere in Midtown. The street we're on is eerily quiet even though we aren't far from the traffic on the main avenue. The town houses on this street are large, and are all identical. There are no cars next to the curb - no one outside. It seems almost abandoned. Jace takes a seat on the stoop of the house on the corner.

"Sit" he says, patting the spot next to him.

I look around. I am very confused. "What are we doing, exactly?"

He just smiles.

I sit down next to him and fold my arms over my chest. We wait for close to twenty minutes, in silence, before someone comes around the corner.

"Afternoon." It's Alec. He's dressed in dark jeans and a blue sweater that he had to have gotten from Magnus, so I was able to conclude we weren't working right now.

"Okay, what exactly is going on here? Are you two going to murder me or something?"

Jace pulls me to my feet while Alec gives me a strange look. He turns to Jace, "Did you not tell her yet?"

"Tell me _what_?" I ask, following them as they cross the street.

"I'll take that as a no."

"Did you bring the key, Alexander?"

"Key for what? Where are we?"

They are both ignoring me, and I'm beginning to get a little worried. Alec reaches into his pocket and pulls something out. It glimmers in the sunlight when he shows it to Jace. We stop in front of another of the houses across the street. Alec walks right up to the front door and unlocks it, stepping inside.

"Clary, welcome to our new home."

* * *

**This chapter was pretty long. I apologize though, cause this was a lot of fluff - there was some significant stuff in there, and the house will be of great significance in the near future, that's all I'll say ;) **

**How do you all like Miles? He's a grumpy guy, but I like the idea of him :) I think as her trainer, he'll make Clary stronger in the long run. Also, I just had to replace Jace as her trainer because let's face it - there's no way the two of them would be able to keep their hands off each other.**

**Hint-hint: If you've watched interviews with the cast from the movie, you'll recognize the table chatter between Simon, Clary, Isabelle and Jace in this chapter.**

**Please leave a review if you have the chance! Would love to know what you think :)**

**xx**


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